Talking with a Friend

Posted on Fri Feb 18th, 2022 @ 1:39pm by Commodore Mardel Shayron-Connor & Lieutenant Commander Teayana Starr

1,397 words; about a 7 minute read

Joint Log
Commodore Mardel Shayron-Connor
Lieutenant Commander Teayana Starr-House

The morning after the event, no other word was needed, Mardel waited until she knew that Teaya was in her office and stopped outside of it. She rang the chime and waited. She felt a little better after the rituals of the night before, but there was still a lot to talk about, to discuss, to understand. On Orion, they would be planning a huge celebration for her actions of the night before, taking out a known hunter and her crew. But here, she just wasn’t sure. She wasn’t sure the loss of trust from her crew was worth killing Tarni and eliminating that threat, although the threat was to more than just herself and her sister, but the ship, crew, the trade conference, and even the Federation itself. The Admirals had thought it was worth it. But did the crew? Did she? She really needed to talk to Teaya and hoped she was free.

"Enter" sitting behind her desk with her morning coffee, some blueberry scones and fresh lemon curd. After her morning with her son, she ran out of time to have breakfast.

Mardel opened the door and walked in. “Teaya, I need to talk. You missed quite the party last night.” She started. Then she stopped and sighed and sat down. “I really do need to talk.”

"Yes, I saw the reports." Her expression was a little pain filled as she could feel the confusion, sadness and frustration Mardel had emanating. "Do you want to stay here or go into one of the meditation rooms?"

Shrugging, Mardel picked at her civilian clothing, having followed orders to take the day off today at least. She toyed with the hem of her skirt, the beads around her wrists making the hollow sound that beads made of wood or bone tend to make as they rub against each other with movements. “I don’t care, I don’t know…I just need to talk.”

"Let's go down the hall where we can sit in comfort." They entered the wooded setting in the meditation room and sat on cushions by the soft babbling stream. "Tell me everything Mardel."

“I was cornered, Teaya. I tried to get out of it, but I was cornered and like the wild animal I am, I fought and I killed. I have worked so hard to not react on my natural instincts, the ones that kept me alive all those years on Orion. Teaya…..I’m not a wild animal anymore, but I am, I just keep that part of me caged, but always ready.” She said and pulled so hard on her skirt that it tore a little and she started to play with the frayed edges.

Teaya reached out and placed her hand on her friend's hand as she picked at the tear. "Honey, I know who you are, the crew knows who you are. If there is shock and a little distance in the crew, it's to be expected. You of all people should know this. I know it's hard to rationalize right now but when things settle down and mostly when this mission is complete everything and one will ease back into normalcy. This is a side we have never seen and I'm sure no one wants to see again. However, your instincts of kill or be killed kicked in and it's no different than anyone else's. You fought to protect yourself, your family and your crew. Had you not, what would become of us?" Taking a deep breath after all her reasonings rushed from her and sat quietly giving Mardel time to digest her words hoping she would come around and see that in the end it was the only plausible outcome because of the situation she was forced into. Had her husband fought she may well be a widow this very moment.

The laugh was harsh and held self mockery. “What would have happened if I hadn’t dealt with her? She would have killed someone on the ship, she wanted blood, she was already fingering her dagger and Dean was closest to her. He would have been killed. Then she would have taken control of the Aldrin and if anyone attempted to stop her, she would have had her slaves kill them and take over their positions. It’s how the syndicate operates, take what they want, whatever they want, whenever they want. They are ruthless and without pity or remorse. All the delegates would have been killed so no word of what happened would have gotten out and the syndicate would have had one of the top of the line Federation starships at their disposal along with everything in our computer core. And on top of that, they would have had something they really, really, really need. An Orion healer/wiseone. They don’t have those, except the ones they have been able to take and enslave. They burn them out too quickly and then lose them and have to get more. It would have been a disaster.” In disgust, she threw the skirt away from her and stood, the silk of the skirt swirling around her slim, animalistic figure as she paced the room like a caged beast, if she had a tail it would be thrashing side to side. Her solid body suit from neck to ankle to wrist just made her look more sleek and even dangerous. She was visibly shaking, but for why, wasn’t clear.

"My point exactly" she said softly. She knew Mardel would have to work through her emotions and she would be there to listen as much and as long as her friend needed her. She would do anything to help her get her head back on straight.
"Mardel, as harsh as it sounds, you did the right thing."

“Right or wrong, Teaya, I still killed someone on my ship. Starfleet has forgiven me. But can the crew? Can my husband? Can I?” She slammed her fist into the wall and caused a deep dent and then looked at her hand. “That should have hurt, it didn’t, it didn’t even break the skin. I’m a monster, Teaya.”

Teaya stood and took a deep breath then ran headlong into Mardel in an attempt to take her down but she knew she couldn't but she was going to do it to hopefully prove a point.

Mardel caught Teaya , lifting her off the ground easily, before she could impact and just blinked and looked at her. “Why would you do that, Teaya?” She asked mildly and set Teaya down gently a pace away.

Taking a deep breath and smiled tenderly at her dear friend. "To prove a point Mardel. This proves that you are not the monster you claim to think you are. You can distinguish between a real threat and non. You know I am no threat to you even if I were angry with you. The Orion woman you knew was a threat to everyone's existence on this crew and your family." Stepping forward and hugging her friend in a warm loving embrace before stepping back. " See what you know is the truth and not letting your nonsensical emotions override you."

Taking several deep breaths, Mardel nodded. “I will have to go and think on this. Part of me is still wanting to go back to hunting the hunters, stop them cold from ever harming another Orion. But I am fighting against that compulsion and trying to keep my mind focused on here and now. Maybe I’ll go spend some time with the twins and then come back this after noon, if that is okay with you.”

"Of course it is. Remember Mardel, the compulsion is a natural instinct after what just occurred; it's all in how you deal with it is what matters. And if you need to work out the aggression, then go to the holodeck to simulate, however make it an extremely last resort. The idea is to get your emotions back under control, my sister."

Mardel nodded, gave Teaya a hug, and then left to spend some time with the twins and see if that helped to ground her better. It was always a good idea to play with the twins, they were good at helping her stay focused.

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